Frustrating is an understatement to describe how it feels to watch your loved one destroy themselves and be powerless to do anything about it.

It can be confusing and hard to understand why they would continue to drink or take drugs when it's causing them and the people around them so much harm.

Here’s a familiar story:  You are concerned about your partner's drinking or drug use. Perhaps their drinking or drug use has increased recently, or it has been increasing gradually over time. You may have noticed changes in their behaviour. E.g., they are forgetful, unreliable, or withdrawn and spending less time with you or the family. You don't know how to approach the topic, or you have tried to discuss it with them before and it didn't go well. Perhaps they snapped at you and you ended up having an argument. You're tired of tiptoeing around the issue.    

Dropping anchor is useful mindfulness technique for riding an emotional storm. When a ship is caught up in a storm there is nothing that can be done to stop the storm but if the ship drops anchor, it is stable enough that it won't get swept away by the storm.